Real Widows

In the Office of Readings this past week, Saint Paul used the expression “real widows” when writing to Timothy. “Honor the claims of those who are real widows.” He was speaking about people - in this case, women - whose needs are truly genuine. He intends to warn Timothy about the many who will come to him claiming to be in need, but who are really only giving themselves to “selfish indulgence.”

He even instructs Timothy, “Refuse to enroll the younger widows, for when their passions estrange them from Christ they will want to marry. Besides,” he says, “they learn to be ladies of leisure who go about from house to house becoming not only time-wasters but gossips and busybodies, talking about things they ought not.”

All of those things were said within the larger context of Saint Paul’s instructions about the importance of caring for actual widows - those women whose husbands have died and who now have no one to care for them. The purpose of the passage is to remind Timothy to give pride of place in his heart to those who are truly in need, truly crying for help. And it is a word that helped to refocus my own heart this week.

There are many people who come to the parish, for example, expecting special treatment from the priest. They are men and women, young and old. They usually mention something about how much money they or their family have given to the church in the past, expecting that their legacy be honored. They try to hire the priest as a kind of personal servant for whom they’ve paid beforehand. These are not real widows.

Still more people become personally attached to the priest, seeking not so much to grow spiritually but to benefit from some emotional or therapeutic satisfaction, which is always temporary and ends in disappointment. Neither are these real widows.

Then there are those whose needs are sincere. They’re usually waiting quietly in the crowd, humbly expecting to be overlooked. These are the ones to whom a priest should move with preference and affection, even if it means upsetting those who come to the church not for assistance but for their own vainglory and selfish indulgence. +